It happened yesterday when the unavoidable finality of 2010 hits me, hard reality. All for no apparent reason. And before gratefulness dislodges such a thought, I became a sour blue lemon.
I don't want 2010 to end! I'm not ready for this yet! Why, why does days and hours and minutes determine December from January? An age, a number, oh most dreadful twenty five!
I do not want to be 25, not yet. It's a quarter of my life spent (assuming we live to a 100) yet still not having a proper direction, no maps no guides, not much achievements, just time past. Not horribly past, not wasted, but i didn't achieve anything except reach the me now.
The me with:
A loving family
A peaceful home & the future to come
A comfortable bed
A stable income
And a very great blessing - Kenneth
An even greater one - To be able to come to God and seek His help in times like this.
Career? Unsure. Passion in life? What happened. Dreams of my own business? Where are the ideas where is the drive where is everything. Health goals? Lagging and lazing. Friends? True are rare. Mountains? Dance? Ideals berates me.
So I became a sour blue lemon, poor K. Complaining and talking out with great sadness truly. Brought out a heavy burden and did not use it. We were supposed to go to the gym.
He became Hopeful while I remained a sour blue lemon just slightly less sour and less blue after sharing about my reading of "Pilgrim's Progress". It was back to normal after that. He said that it is because I didn't put God in the picture, I wanted to do everything myself.
And yes that's perhaps why i was a sour blue lemon. But compared to so many other people, I have A LOT to be thankful for. You'll be surprised because I can rattle on and on about it. Yet in the tide then, sour blue lemon was me.
*Needs to pray*
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Sick :(
A most horrible feeling to be sick and woozy. You're on medical leave yet you can't do anything, you can't leave the house because of a throbbing headache, body ache, and all the terrible sickly sensations.
And there is no one at home to talk to, you can't really watch much TV or catch a movie online because of feverish and radiation doesn't go together. You don't really want to sleep because you've slept so much.
:( Being sick is horrible, I rather be healthy and go to work. And be able to do whatever you want.
And there is no one at home to talk to, you can't really watch much TV or catch a movie online because of feverish and radiation doesn't go together. You don't really want to sleep because you've slept so much.
:( Being sick is horrible, I rather be healthy and go to work. And be able to do whatever you want.
Monday, 29 November 2010
Blogging on mobile
Not quite sure what happened but I feel burdened. The rain started halfway through lunch. I could feel raindrops on my exposed skin, it could have gone into my soup. Ah, but nothing is comparable to the dampening cold spirit that sinks with every rain drop that lands on your skin and dried by the breeze. Horrible coming of the december rain, why can't we be cool but not wet? I like cool humid air but not cold damp shoes.
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
His wedding
Don't ask me how I know, but he is already engaged and that status is going to change this February. Anytime now, his family (literally) is going to intrude into my neighbourhood.
Enjoying the infinity pool just outside their living room, in a huge bedroom with a walk-in wardrobe and spacious bathroom. Top of the house, minimal interference. Cute dog, car. Beauty treatments, sleepovers. Family dinners, welcoming members. Dance.
I am happy for him and for her. But that doesn't reduce or explain the sadness within me. I can't help but admit I am still affected in a strange way. She could have been me. The me that I had left behind, knowing full well there's never going to be a man I'll meet who can give so much love..simply because... she is the world to him.
Enjoying the infinity pool just outside their living room, in a huge bedroom with a walk-in wardrobe and spacious bathroom. Top of the house, minimal interference. Cute dog, car. Beauty treatments, sleepovers. Family dinners, welcoming members. Dance.
I am happy for him and for her. But that doesn't reduce or explain the sadness within me. I can't help but admit I am still affected in a strange way. She could have been me. The me that I had left behind, knowing full well there's never going to be a man I'll meet who can give so much love..simply because... she is the world to him.
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Nationalism
The article "I don't know what I am defending anymore", a comment by a young Singaporean - an undergrad from a local university, an officer serving in NS. Raised up during the Ministerial Forum with SM Goh, this young man shared this bold statement publicly about how the sentiment among many young Singaporeans of a sense of apathy, a lack of caring about the nation's future because.... they 'don't feel comfortable in the country anymore', a brother had to cancel his engagement because public housing is too expensive, and the relation he made to his foreign friends highlighting the difference of Singaporeans having to 'stay here' and i assume, serve the country, a country they perceive is not giving much back to them?
Chaining young men and wasting 2 years of their life in a 'jail' called NS? In a jail where your identity is erased and you are just.like.every.one.else. So what if you've got 4 As? You are the same as the one who flunked his O levels. So what if you have a strong musical talent? You are the same as the ah Beng who smokes, drinks, womanize and gang fights. Perhaps.
How true is it I do not know. I haven't been through that and I know I can't make a judgement on that. But as a Singaporean woman, I am glad NS is in place. I feel sorry for the men out there, OUR men, OUR brothers OUR boyfriends and husbands and uncles, when their head is shaven and every week they go back (BMT is especially hard), demeaned, demoralized, perhaps putting up with fleas and jungle mosquitos and awful trenches, punished for something they did not do, suffering under a blanket of insults thrown by care-less officers (regulars, abusers of power figures of authority, or perhaps like a diamond in the rough - a respectable command). That I can empathize.
But I especially admire the men when they grit their teeth and bear it through. It is not just about national service, it is about sacrificing yourself to serve for a greater cause, protecting your loved ones, that's all about being a man. Thinking beyond yourself. Sharpening your character and abilities through some sort of suffering and self denial.
Call me a prude, a traditional, or brain-washed by the system. But I think our leaders still care, and are trying to find a connection with the young. Our apathy stems from our comfort in living within our comfort zone, the laziness to voice our views beyond complaining and lamenting privately, the preference for the easy way out or acceptance at being our personal second-rate, and the selfishness of self perpetuated by popular culture - indulge, feel good, anything goes as long as we are happy. Where's responsibility? Where's thinking for the others? Where's thinking for the future? Everything is about the present enjoyment- credit cards are a good example.
HDBs are not cheap but it is still affordable, if you can be contented with less if your financial situation does not allow it. if you want the Pinnacles with peanuts, you're asking for the sky when you're really still working up the basement. And maybe a smaller flat, non-prime location, stay with parents?
There is really no need to cancel an engagement because you don't have a house. A room can still be a home.
I give it to him for raising it up.
xoxo,
principessa
Chaining young men and wasting 2 years of their life in a 'jail' called NS? In a jail where your identity is erased and you are just.like.every.one.else. So what if you've got 4 As? You are the same as the one who flunked his O levels. So what if you have a strong musical talent? You are the same as the ah Beng who smokes, drinks, womanize and gang fights. Perhaps.
How true is it I do not know. I haven't been through that and I know I can't make a judgement on that. But as a Singaporean woman, I am glad NS is in place. I feel sorry for the men out there, OUR men, OUR brothers OUR boyfriends and husbands and uncles, when their head is shaven and every week they go back (BMT is especially hard), demeaned, demoralized, perhaps putting up with fleas and jungle mosquitos and awful trenches, punished for something they did not do, suffering under a blanket of insults thrown by care-less officers (regulars, abusers of power figures of authority, or perhaps like a diamond in the rough - a respectable command). That I can empathize.
But I especially admire the men when they grit their teeth and bear it through. It is not just about national service, it is about sacrificing yourself to serve for a greater cause, protecting your loved ones, that's all about being a man. Thinking beyond yourself. Sharpening your character and abilities through some sort of suffering and self denial.
Call me a prude, a traditional, or brain-washed by the system. But I think our leaders still care, and are trying to find a connection with the young. Our apathy stems from our comfort in living within our comfort zone, the laziness to voice our views beyond complaining and lamenting privately, the preference for the easy way out or acceptance at being our personal second-rate, and the selfishness of self perpetuated by popular culture - indulge, feel good, anything goes as long as we are happy. Where's responsibility? Where's thinking for the others? Where's thinking for the future? Everything is about the present enjoyment- credit cards are a good example.
HDBs are not cheap but it is still affordable, if you can be contented with less if your financial situation does not allow it. if you want the Pinnacles with peanuts, you're asking for the sky when you're really still working up the basement. And maybe a smaller flat, non-prime location, stay with parents?
There is really no need to cancel an engagement because you don't have a house. A room can still be a home.
I give it to him for raising it up.
xoxo,
principessa
Monday, 18 October 2010
Birthday cards and piano
Finally got the time to sit down, quieten down and start writing birthday cards to two of my precious JADE sisters! Oh goodness, it has been a month past their birthdays. I procrastinate too much but at least...at least I'm writing. :)
Better late than never!
Anyway, life has been eventful, i thought ever since I turned 24 biologically, I should get on with my life plans. One of my long time dream is to play beautiful piano and be able to play christian songs because they give you an immense sense of peace and wonder as you let God in. Yes, so I've bought an electronic piano from Yamaha. It's a Clavinova CLP-330
Exactly like this picture, this is the exact model but I got mine in Dark Rosewood. This picture shows polished Ebony which is a beaaautiful finish but it costs about $800 more but I won't get it for vanity sake.
The important thing is to practice and I am going to start on Pop Piano classes at Yamaha. Somewhere along the line, I hope to get onto Classical and Jazz.
Meanwhile, there's plenty to sacrifice. :( I have to spend about $300-350 less every month to pay for the installments and classes. Weekday nights and some weekend hours have to be spent practicing. Less time with Kenneth on Saturdays and that makes me feel a little uneasy because he won't have trouble finding company knowing how loved his company is by his friends. WELL.
Life have to be made more meaningful and we have to allocate time to develop our passions and relationships. Heed that friends, relationships are important!
PS: Listen to some of the music a digital piano -Yamaha Clavinova can make despite it being still, electronic. http://yamahaclavinova.com/
xoxo,
principessa
Better late than never!
Anyway, life has been eventful, i thought ever since I turned 24 biologically, I should get on with my life plans. One of my long time dream is to play beautiful piano and be able to play christian songs because they give you an immense sense of peace and wonder as you let God in. Yes, so I've bought an electronic piano from Yamaha. It's a Clavinova CLP-330
Exactly like this picture, this is the exact model but I got mine in Dark Rosewood. This picture shows polished Ebony which is a beaaautiful finish but it costs about $800 more but I won't get it for vanity sake.
The important thing is to practice and I am going to start on Pop Piano classes at Yamaha. Somewhere along the line, I hope to get onto Classical and Jazz.
Meanwhile, there's plenty to sacrifice. :( I have to spend about $300-350 less every month to pay for the installments and classes. Weekday nights and some weekend hours have to be spent practicing. Less time with Kenneth on Saturdays and that makes me feel a little uneasy because he won't have trouble finding company knowing how loved his company is by his friends. WELL.
Life have to be made more meaningful and we have to allocate time to develop our passions and relationships. Heed that friends, relationships are important!
PS: Listen to some of the music a digital piano -Yamaha Clavinova can make despite it being still, electronic. http://yamahaclavinova.com/
xoxo,
principessa
Saturday, 25 September 2010
New respect for shoes
Hellos darlings,
I'm back! The 17 hour flight was such a torture even if it was on SQ. The passably good meals made it better (i chose japanese all the way, japanese breakfast, japanese lunch, japanese dinner..snack..everything including green tea), so did the wide selection of movies.
Aladdin, Robin Hood, Knight and Day, Letters to Juliet, The Backup Plan, Karate Kid. I watched six in total. If I were to rank them, L.T.J scored the worst of the lot because the plot is so unbelievable, i didn't know who the male lead is thought the Brit accent was quite right, what kind of 'love' is that really?
K.A.D is fine for action and actors of good calibre, the sunset view of Salzburg, Austria from the Hotel balcony was tres romantique! I want to be in such a city/place/town, want and need. It's like, I don't even know what to call it? A historic city. Easily a summer blockbuster but as easily forgotten.
I enjoyed the other 4 movies for different reasons, but if there's one to recommend, it has to be Robin Hood. It is good.
Back to the title of the post, I think i have been influenced by K. But shoes are getting to me, nice shoes, good quality shoes that are such a delight to wear. Comfort and practicality is still key to me though, no shoe is truly good if it bites your feet, pinches you, and make you fearful of walking more. Nice shoes brings you to nice places, we might as well enjoy the journey! In good ole shoes that aids us to walk.
I think my budget for shoes had just expanded. Only for the good ones.
xoxo,
principessa
I'm back! The 17 hour flight was such a torture even if it was on SQ. The passably good meals made it better (i chose japanese all the way, japanese breakfast, japanese lunch, japanese dinner..snack..everything including green tea), so did the wide selection of movies.
Aladdin, Robin Hood, Knight and Day, Letters to Juliet, The Backup Plan, Karate Kid. I watched six in total. If I were to rank them, L.T.J scored the worst of the lot because the plot is so unbelievable, i didn't know who the male lead is thought the Brit accent was quite right, what kind of 'love' is that really?
K.A.D is fine for action and actors of good calibre, the sunset view of Salzburg, Austria from the Hotel balcony was tres romantique! I want to be in such a city/place/town, want and need. It's like, I don't even know what to call it? A historic city. Easily a summer blockbuster but as easily forgotten.
I enjoyed the other 4 movies for different reasons, but if there's one to recommend, it has to be Robin Hood. It is good.
Back to the title of the post, I think i have been influenced by K. But shoes are getting to me, nice shoes, good quality shoes that are such a delight to wear. Comfort and practicality is still key to me though, no shoe is truly good if it bites your feet, pinches you, and make you fearful of walking more. Nice shoes brings you to nice places, we might as well enjoy the journey! In good ole shoes that aids us to walk.
I think my budget for shoes had just expanded. Only for the good ones.
xoxo,
principessa
Thursday, 16 September 2010
The frailty of Man
I look at my Mum and my Dad and understood this.
How frail we are as Man. Our physical body rusts, puts on weight through the years, slackened skin and wrinkled lines confirms what some fears most - the evidence of age. Metabolic rate declines, movement slows, less flexible.
Yet with more love. With more understanding. The eyes that says "I love you, daughter" even if lips nag, concerned.
I told Mum that I want to get a piano and this needs space in the house. There is a lot of space in the house if we make it so. If decades old stuff are put away, out of the house. I said I wanted the study room which no one is using, can I have the space there? And gave my mum 2 months to clear her stuff. Hers because it is unwanted by others, hers because they are treasures in her eyes. Yes, my mum's a hoarder. And a sentimental.
I took her hand and led her to the study to see. In the darkness of the study room which artificial light no longer lit the place, Mum hugged me. Three times.
2 months Mum, can you clear the space in 2 months?
What will happen when you get married and move out?
I'll move the piano with it Mum.
Maybe silently she's wondering about the future - What will life be without staying with you Mum? And Dad? I don't know, I'll be very sad.
But do I want the future? Do I want to be married at some point and move out? Yes I do. I do want to move on to another part of life yet I don't want to let go.. Thinking of moving out and having a family is scary. Yet........
How did the world become so scary so fast? So real? Out of school - out of the crib. No more sheltering, no kind soul and people with not much motives. Fending for yourself, finding yourself, yes this is life now. I don't know, I don't want it, I don't want to grow up yet I must, I have to. We all have to but...
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I love you Mum. You cook the healthiest and yummiest home fare that I will always miss. I know you love me. I know both of you do, and I am such a special child in your eyes, always...
How frail we are as Man. Our physical body rusts, puts on weight through the years, slackened skin and wrinkled lines confirms what some fears most - the evidence of age. Metabolic rate declines, movement slows, less flexible.
Yet with more love. With more understanding. The eyes that says "I love you, daughter" even if lips nag, concerned.
I told Mum that I want to get a piano and this needs space in the house. There is a lot of space in the house if we make it so. If decades old stuff are put away, out of the house. I said I wanted the study room which no one is using, can I have the space there? And gave my mum 2 months to clear her stuff. Hers because it is unwanted by others, hers because they are treasures in her eyes. Yes, my mum's a hoarder. And a sentimental.
I took her hand and led her to the study to see. In the darkness of the study room which artificial light no longer lit the place, Mum hugged me. Three times.
2 months Mum, can you clear the space in 2 months?
What will happen when you get married and move out?
I'll move the piano with it Mum.
Maybe silently she's wondering about the future - What will life be without staying with you Mum? And Dad? I don't know, I'll be very sad.
But do I want the future? Do I want to be married at some point and move out? Yes I do. I do want to move on to another part of life yet I don't want to let go.. Thinking of moving out and having a family is scary. Yet........
How did the world become so scary so fast? So real? Out of school - out of the crib. No more sheltering, no kind soul and people with not much motives. Fending for yourself, finding yourself, yes this is life now. I don't know, I don't want it, I don't want to grow up yet I must, I have to. We all have to but...
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I love you Mum. You cook the healthiest and yummiest home fare that I will always miss. I know you love me. I know both of you do, and I am such a special child in your eyes, always...
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Farewell hotpot with luuurve.
No, this is not a joke. It's a farewell hotpot with love.
love -> Love.
One of my colleagues, an intern who has been with us for 3 months with love as his surname is leaving and we had a hotpot dinner with him at a place in Bugis. It has been a delightful time to have him around especially during lunch hour with his gregarious and chatty personality sharing his stories.
A writer, an artist, a language teacher. He had visited the mythical forests of P*ru and stayed there with the tribes for a couple of months to integrate and learn about their culture. When he told his story, it was like elements of Avatar and mystical things coming to live. His own history and family is quite interesting, his family's rented penthouse condo in Orchard is H U G E with a private pool.
It has been a pleasure to have him, one of the most interesting people i've met through work.
love -> Love.
One of my colleagues, an intern who has been with us for 3 months with love as his surname is leaving and we had a hotpot dinner with him at a place in Bugis. It has been a delightful time to have him around especially during lunch hour with his gregarious and chatty personality sharing his stories.
A writer, an artist, a language teacher. He had visited the mythical forests of P*ru and stayed there with the tribes for a couple of months to integrate and learn about their culture. When he told his story, it was like elements of Avatar and mystical things coming to live. His own history and family is quite interesting, his family's rented penthouse condo in Orchard is H U G E with a private pool.
It has been a pleasure to have him, one of the most interesting people i've met through work.
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Nash died
He was so happy he was grinning in the next picture. But I am not posting it.
My half-pet Nash. He died earlier this year. And though I didn't say much, tears replaced words. And I remember, I'll always remember him. Nash-ie, can you hear me? I am sorry I wasn't there when you had to pass on, I remember, i remember i was there when you were admitted to the hospital. I was there when you had fits lying helpless on the floor, thrashing about. I was so worried about you, I do love you. But silly me, for years I was afraid. I didn't trust you, even when you've never ever jumped on me. I'm sorry I never trusted you fully and I am sorry I wasn't there you see you at your last.
Nash-ie, I miss you. The happy dog with your tail wagging at the picket fence. Thank you.
my endless love
the song that was playing that night on repeat. i can never forget it.
"two hearts, two hearts that beat as one
our lives have just begun
forever, i'll hold you close in my arms
i can't resist your charms
my love.. i'll be a fool for you
i'm sure.. i'm sure you'll know i don't mind
cause of you, you mean the world to me
oh, i know, i know i've found in you
my endless love.."
try as i might, it is still there. and though i know the time is gone, it's like a song trapped in a musical box playing the beautiful Love Story. can i put it away?
"two hearts, two hearts that beat as one
our lives have just begun
forever, i'll hold you close in my arms
i can't resist your charms
my love.. i'll be a fool for you
i'm sure.. i'm sure you'll know i don't mind
cause of you, you mean the world to me
oh, i know, i know i've found in you
my endless love.."
try as i might, it is still there. and though i know the time is gone, it's like a song trapped in a musical box playing the beautiful Love Story. can i put it away?
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
If there is a procedure that can remove your memory selectively, will you do it?
Someone did. Rash, impulsive woman that she is, after a great love story.
as with every love story, with its ups and downs
and ins and outs of happiness.
and ins and outs of doubts.
but so there she did it, all the memories erased as he grapples with why
why the girl he love has forgotten none but him
all so suddenly
all so suddenly
and there filled with pain he investigated
and told his story
of a man so hurt by the forgetting
but while he hung on, and wondered why
he took the step, the same procedure
and on his journey of forgetting
it was so easy at first as each memory replays itself
relives itself
like a tape recorder playing backwards
the nasty ones came
those at the back
the ones that stole her away
that all happiness at first was forgotten
forgotten by the last bad ones
each memory replays
like a tape recorder playing backwards he relived
but at the end of it, she disappears
and he forgets
and through each memory good and bad he went
went and saw and felt how he remembered it to be
in and out of happiness
up and down into love
but each time she vanishes as the memory ends
erased. like a spot vacuumed away
and as he goes through
the ups and downs of each memory
the ins and outs of happiness
bad memories came
bad memories went
good memories came
good memories went
and went and went
left.
she had left.
and just a little bit more he knows it will reach the end
of all the memories they ever had
through the ups and downs, ins and outs
he couldn't stand it anymore
he doesn't want to forget her anymore
but
helplessly he watches
as she vanishes from each and every one
gone.
no matter how he tries.
the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
of two lovers who were once so close
now forgotten
like two strangers who had never met
the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
will you take the step?
Someone did. Rash, impulsive woman that she is, after a great love story.
as with every love story, with its ups and downs
and ins and outs of happiness.
and ins and outs of doubts.
but so there she did it, all the memories erased as he grapples with why
why the girl he love has forgotten none but him
all so suddenly
all so suddenly
and there filled with pain he investigated
and told his story
of a man so hurt by the forgetting
but while he hung on, and wondered why
he took the step, the same procedure
and on his journey of forgetting
it was so easy at first as each memory replays itself
relives itself
like a tape recorder playing backwards
the nasty ones came
those at the back
the ones that stole her away
that all happiness at first was forgotten
forgotten by the last bad ones
each memory replays
like a tape recorder playing backwards he relived
but at the end of it, she disappears
and he forgets
and through each memory good and bad he went
went and saw and felt how he remembered it to be
in and out of happiness
up and down into love
but each time she vanishes as the memory ends
erased. like a spot vacuumed away
and as he goes through
the ups and downs of each memory
the ins and outs of happiness
bad memories came
bad memories went
good memories came
good memories went
and went and went
left.
she had left.
and just a little bit more he knows it will reach the end
of all the memories they ever had
through the ups and downs, ins and outs
he couldn't stand it anymore
he doesn't want to forget her anymore
but
helplessly he watches
as she vanishes from each and every one
gone.
no matter how he tries.
the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
of two lovers who were once so close
now forgotten
like two strangers who had never met
the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
will you take the step?
time is love.
how blue can i get you can ask my heart
i'm like a jigsaw puzzle that has been torn apart
a million years from now i'll be loving you still
i'm just thinking about the love that we had
and i'm missing you
tomorrow morning i'm here on the dusty road
gonna find you wherever you may go
and hope u'll come back to me
say when the nights are lonely
the nights are lonely the days are so sad
and i'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me.
Like what he said, maybe the most peaceful way to go is to fall asleep and never wake up again
and life is too hard sometimes
you just want to surrender it all
and hope you'll fall into sleep
no hurt no pain no sadness
no insecurity
no consolation
no more questions
no more doubts
no more tears
no more love
because there you are at the other side
my eyes glazing down towards you
watching as you ponder through the streets of life
wondering
wondering
but not too long later i do know
you'll be alright no hurt no pain
no sadness no doubts
no fears no questions
and live on again
again in your life's journey
not too much later you'll fall again
and say all things you have said
all too clear i know
you'll be fine
you'll be fine i know
and i'm consoled at the other side
that you are fine
and me
i am not
but it doesn't matter anymore
there's no turning back
from there i watch you
and from there i pine
for my memories to lose
its visions of you
no more sadness
no more tears
no more suffering
no more doubts
no more fears
and no more you.
no more love.
i'm like a jigsaw puzzle that has been torn apart
a million years from now i'll be loving you still
i'm just thinking about the love that we had
and i'm missing you
tomorrow morning i'm here on the dusty road
gonna find you wherever you may go
and hope u'll come back to me
say when the nights are lonely
the nights are lonely the days are so sad
and i'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me.
Like what he said, maybe the most peaceful way to go is to fall asleep and never wake up again
and life is too hard sometimes
you just want to surrender it all
and hope you'll fall into sleep
no hurt no pain no sadness
no insecurity
no consolation
no more questions
no more doubts
no more tears
no more love
because there you are at the other side
my eyes glazing down towards you
watching as you ponder through the streets of life
wondering
wondering
but not too long later i do know
you'll be alright no hurt no pain
no sadness no doubts
no fears no questions
and live on again
again in your life's journey
not too much later you'll fall again
and say all things you have said
all too clear i know
you'll be fine
you'll be fine i know
and i'm consoled at the other side
that you are fine
and me
i am not
but it doesn't matter anymore
there's no turning back
from there i watch you
and from there i pine
for my memories to lose
its visions of you
no more sadness
no more tears
no more suffering
no more doubts
no more fears
and no more you.
no more love.
Friday, 27 August 2010
you gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
you gotta be wiser
you gotta be hard, you gotta be tough
you gotta be stronger
you gotta be calm, you gotta be together
all i know, all i know, love will save the day
I'm singing a part of this in our 30th anniversary video. Don't know if it'll make the cut but its fun to try! Will be seen by my peers from all over the world! Hehe :)
you gotta be wiser
you gotta be hard, you gotta be tough
you gotta be stronger
you gotta be calm, you gotta be together
all i know, all i know, love will save the day
I'm singing a part of this in our 30th anniversary video. Don't know if it'll make the cut but its fun to try! Will be seen by my peers from all over the world! Hehe :)
Sunday, 22 August 2010
A happy weekend
This has been a happy weekend, we spent two whole days together. :)
Saturday was spent making our own food and watching a movie at home. We made hamburgers together and he knew exactly what we need for it, i was merely preparing the ingredients and baking the buns. We got some minced beef, breadcrumbs, onions, garlic, an egg and some worchestor sauce with a pinch of salt, mixed them all together and moulded them into burger patties. We had stirfried mushrooms and onions on top, and some vegetables with melted garlic herb butter.
He looks quite good doing all that cooking. Sometimes I can't help but suggest ways of doing things (e.g. the right way to find out if the beef patty is cooked) but it worked out well.
As it was just the two of us and we made 5 patties, we had it for lunch & dinner. :D For dinner, i made a salad with peach flavoured yogurt and romaine mixed greens and it tasted really good. After that, it was a home movie - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Sad yet beautiful tale of how 2 lovers tried to erase their memories of each other. A movie that makes you think. And think indeed. If I had a choice, will I choose to erase specific memories of the past? Memories can be so strong with potential to affect us years after it happened, and for some people, they could never let go of it. Just like the memories of your first love..
First love, when was mine? Maybe if it is not so significant now, the first may not truly be first?
I digress. Sorry. Anyway back to Sunday, sunday was spent with him again. Witnessing G's baptism, going to church together, having lunch with his family, chilling out being home-bodies, and then, having claypot dinner with his friends and 2 german friends. We also brought them to explore the infamous now severely sanitized red light district of Singapore.
Being with him, anywhere, is always happy. But a little surprise change of activities and a sense of adventure once in a while is delightful. ;) He's never going to read this, I think mais mon cheri, je'taime.
xoxo,
principessa
Saturday was spent making our own food and watching a movie at home. We made hamburgers together and he knew exactly what we need for it, i was merely preparing the ingredients and baking the buns. We got some minced beef, breadcrumbs, onions, garlic, an egg and some worchestor sauce with a pinch of salt, mixed them all together and moulded them into burger patties. We had stirfried mushrooms and onions on top, and some vegetables with melted garlic herb butter.
He looks quite good doing all that cooking. Sometimes I can't help but suggest ways of doing things (e.g. the right way to find out if the beef patty is cooked) but it worked out well.
As it was just the two of us and we made 5 patties, we had it for lunch & dinner. :D For dinner, i made a salad with peach flavoured yogurt and romaine mixed greens and it tasted really good. After that, it was a home movie - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Sad yet beautiful tale of how 2 lovers tried to erase their memories of each other. A movie that makes you think. And think indeed. If I had a choice, will I choose to erase specific memories of the past? Memories can be so strong with potential to affect us years after it happened, and for some people, they could never let go of it. Just like the memories of your first love..
First love, when was mine? Maybe if it is not so significant now, the first may not truly be first?
I digress. Sorry. Anyway back to Sunday, sunday was spent with him again. Witnessing G's baptism, going to church together, having lunch with his family, chilling out being home-bodies, and then, having claypot dinner with his friends and 2 german friends. We also brought them to explore the infamous now severely sanitized red light district of Singapore.
Being with him, anywhere, is always happy. But a little surprise change of activities and a sense of adventure once in a while is delightful. ;) He's never going to read this, I think mais mon cheri, je'taime.
xoxo,
principessa
Friday, 30 July 2010
my macbook :)
No regrets from buying the macbook pro even though it burst my budget for quite a while combined with my Aussie holiday! :)
Even numbers is fun, and I like it that everything is pretty, intuitive and so easy to shift, learn and use.
What I don't like? The complicating fuss about iphoto. Do they even save my edited photos on the hard drive? How do i access it? I can't even save the edited photos on my thumb drive. There's either something wrong with it or that I just don't know how to use it.
Had a relaxing massage experience at Damai Spa - Hyatt yesterday with colleagues. Lucky to have this, lucky to have a good boss who rewards people for their hard work. Something to think about though - is this where I want to be and go to?
The masseuse told me that I have this ache and that ache and I must stretch more. sighs.
no sign off,
too sad.
Even numbers is fun, and I like it that everything is pretty, intuitive and so easy to shift, learn and use.
What I don't like? The complicating fuss about iphoto. Do they even save my edited photos on the hard drive? How do i access it? I can't even save the edited photos on my thumb drive. There's either something wrong with it or that I just don't know how to use it.
Had a relaxing massage experience at Damai Spa - Hyatt yesterday with colleagues. Lucky to have this, lucky to have a good boss who rewards people for their hard work. Something to think about though - is this where I want to be and go to?
The masseuse told me that I have this ache and that ache and I must stretch more. sighs.
no sign off,
too sad.
Friday, 23 July 2010
Scary thoughts
As the time to reach 24 comes frighteningly close, I ponder about my life (or lack of life) increasingly so. 23..24. Just looking at the pictures is scary. I think 21/22 were much better years truth be told. Sigh. Why am i always sighing these days?
I think I know it. And some may know too but cannot exactly pin point. But the scariest thing about life is helplessness. Or the sense of. No one is entirely helpless so to say but they can feel like, as my boss puts it; "the ship is sinking and you feel like you are sinking with it".
Sinking ships, no fun. Helplessness, despair. But really if you're a christian those two words shouldn't exist. Shouldn't but they do!!!
Over lunch today, the word "wallflower" came up and after I googled it in Urban Dictionary, that sounds eerily/relieve-ingly similar to elle. La fille est moi. It isn't too bad really, society makes it seem bad and puts on negative connotations on such a word. Who even coined such a stupidly brilliant name? A vase, a wallflower, part of the room decor, easy to miss on its own but plays a part in the big picture. No vase, no wallflowers, equals no decor. A borrrring room, a noisy room, an energetic room, but it can never be a beautiful room without the background crew. Namely, the flowers themselves!
Ha ha ha. Maybe the vases and ceilings and flowers and paintings should come together to party. But how so without the voices and buzz of people?
Clink clink to peaceful and a magical clash-together!
xoxo,
principessa
I think I know it. And some may know too but cannot exactly pin point. But the scariest thing about life is helplessness. Or the sense of. No one is entirely helpless so to say but they can feel like, as my boss puts it; "the ship is sinking and you feel like you are sinking with it".
Sinking ships, no fun. Helplessness, despair. But really if you're a christian those two words shouldn't exist. Shouldn't but they do!!!
Over lunch today, the word "wallflower" came up and after I googled it in Urban Dictionary, that sounds eerily/relieve-ingly similar to elle. La fille est moi. It isn't too bad really, society makes it seem bad and puts on negative connotations on such a word. Who even coined such a stupidly brilliant name? A vase, a wallflower, part of the room decor, easy to miss on its own but plays a part in the big picture. No vase, no wallflowers, equals no decor. A borrrring room, a noisy room, an energetic room, but it can never be a beautiful room without the background crew. Namely, the flowers themselves!
Ha ha ha. Maybe the vases and ceilings and flowers and paintings should come together to party. But how so without the voices and buzz of people?
Clink clink to peaceful and a magical clash-together!
xoxo,
principessa
Thursday, 22 July 2010
A few wants
Just got back from work, this week and the last 2 have been incredibly intensive weeks in terms of workload. I had a talk with my bosses and there is some sort of a a resolution now. I will talk to them tomorrow on my decision.
On the cab ride home, I had a few thoughts. A red two-seater convertible car zoomed past, with the weekend plate clearly bringing attention to the car's rich red colour. I don't even know what brand it is, but i like it immediately even though the shape was a bit square, not the usual curvy bmws type. And there, I thought I never needed a car, I still don't. But i thought I'll never exactly want a car or dream to have one at this age and in this country.
But there I was, gasp. As the taxi zoomed past my favourite stretch of the ECP, on a breezy starry (or cloudy, haha?) night with a setting similar to the Brilliant Rose commercial that is so memorable to me. The lady with the rose-cut diamond ring sparkling on her slender fingers obviously blending in with the brilliantly twinkling stars across the black night sky (pun intended). A clearly placed Fly me to the moon song playing, and the proposer smiling smugly (i can imagine) as he whisks his lady off, away in his shiny cool convertible.. Well. It made me want a car. Not any, but something exactly like that, driving along a similar road at 100km/hr, wearing diamonds on some part of me. How terribly romantic! If driving alone can be considered so.
Side note, it got me started on thinking of a few wants I have..some of which are incredibly (not unrealistic but just tremendously tedious to get)... ...
- The car
- And driving lessons
- And passing it
And on a random note, a compact dvd/blu-ray whatever disc of all the Sex & the City drama series from Season 1 to 6. This is random because I just thought of it as I re-visit this blog of mine, reminded of a clip I posted some time back.
There is more to write but Sigh, better get going to shower and grab the remaining few minutes before sleeping, and then starting another day. How time flies! And the scary thing is, you don't feel like you have done much or progressed much since a week ago, a month ago, a year ago or so.
PS: Thank God though, whenever I have another day to start.
Regards,
E
On the cab ride home, I had a few thoughts. A red two-seater convertible car zoomed past, with the weekend plate clearly bringing attention to the car's rich red colour. I don't even know what brand it is, but i like it immediately even though the shape was a bit square, not the usual curvy bmws type. And there, I thought I never needed a car, I still don't. But i thought I'll never exactly want a car or dream to have one at this age and in this country.
But there I was, gasp. As the taxi zoomed past my favourite stretch of the ECP, on a breezy starry (or cloudy, haha?) night with a setting similar to the Brilliant Rose commercial that is so memorable to me. The lady with the rose-cut diamond ring sparkling on her slender fingers obviously blending in with the brilliantly twinkling stars across the black night sky (pun intended). A clearly placed Fly me to the moon song playing, and the proposer smiling smugly (i can imagine) as he whisks his lady off, away in his shiny cool convertible.. Well. It made me want a car. Not any, but something exactly like that, driving along a similar road at 100km/hr, wearing diamonds on some part of me. How terribly romantic! If driving alone can be considered so.
Side note, it got me started on thinking of a few wants I have..some of which are incredibly (not unrealistic but just tremendously tedious to get)... ...
- The car
- And driving lessons
- And passing it
And on a random note, a compact dvd/blu-ray whatever disc of all the Sex & the City drama series from Season 1 to 6. This is random because I just thought of it as I re-visit this blog of mine, reminded of a clip I posted some time back.
There is more to write but Sigh, better get going to shower and grab the remaining few minutes before sleeping, and then starting another day. How time flies! And the scary thing is, you don't feel like you have done much or progressed much since a week ago, a month ago, a year ago or so.
PS: Thank God though, whenever I have another day to start.
Regards,
E
Wednesday, 14 July 2010
Honeyoat mask - a yummy indulgence
Again, the issue of dance came up again yesterday. But there is really no need to elaborate, disappointment as usual.
After a second session of Viennese Waltz today, I felt like I needed some retail therapy again. Work yesterday was mind blistering stressful. Made a mistake, boss was temperamentally unhappy and pinning me for it, gazillion proposals & requests in my to-do list, pressure to close something within 60 days on my own and to top it off, a session of sadness after a whole day of stress. I already feel like breaking off work at lunch time. Now what.
Retail therapy came in the form of a soothing honey oat mask that smells so good with the wholesomeness feeling of healthy oats & organic honey. It calms my skin immediately when I smelt it in the shop and without futher ado, I grabbed a jar of it along with another jar of goodness. Aloe Vera Soothing Mask for sensitive skin :)
Honey oat - cleanses, purifies & moisturizes. Smell calms me down immediately~ I have it on right now :D
Aloe Vera - creates a protective barrier over sensitive skin & hydrates. The smell is mild and good too :D
I so need these jars of goodness. Not overly sweet, only mildly scented and feels like natural goodness. Both are from Bodyshop and I must admit I like the brand concept down to the brown recyclable doggy bags they use to hold my items. I declined the carrier bag and stuffed it in my bag instead. :) Goodness for the Earth!
So do your part too my friends. Decline bags if possible, stuff it in your own or bring a recyclable one wherever you go.
PS: I dreamt about having a puppy last night.
Love,
principessa
After a second session of Viennese Waltz today, I felt like I needed some retail therapy again. Work yesterday was mind blistering stressful. Made a mistake, boss was temperamentally unhappy and pinning me for it, gazillion proposals & requests in my to-do list, pressure to close something within 60 days on my own and to top it off, a session of sadness after a whole day of stress. I already feel like breaking off work at lunch time. Now what.
Retail therapy came in the form of a soothing honey oat mask that smells so good with the wholesomeness feeling of healthy oats & organic honey. It calms my skin immediately when I smelt it in the shop and without futher ado, I grabbed a jar of it along with another jar of goodness. Aloe Vera Soothing Mask for sensitive skin :)
Honey oat - cleanses, purifies & moisturizes. Smell calms me down immediately~ I have it on right now :D
Aloe Vera - creates a protective barrier over sensitive skin & hydrates. The smell is mild and good too :D
I so need these jars of goodness. Not overly sweet, only mildly scented and feels like natural goodness. Both are from Bodyshop and I must admit I like the brand concept down to the brown recyclable doggy bags they use to hold my items. I declined the carrier bag and stuffed it in my bag instead. :) Goodness for the Earth!
So do your part too my friends. Decline bags if possible, stuff it in your own or bring a recyclable one wherever you go.
PS: I dreamt about having a puppy last night.
Love,
principessa
Monday, 12 July 2010
Too much happiness?
Is that even possible? But if you've been bubbling with happy news too eager to share with others while keeping the unhappy ones to yourself, you could just be deemed as the lucky someone with too much happiness.
Braggart, insensitive, annoying perhaps?
Really?
Nice boss, cool job, good prospects, doting parents, loving boyfriend, true friends, somewhat pleasant life.
Really?
Yes, not too bad, i suppose so, not overly, quite , yes, yeah.
Or is it just a matter of perspective?
All glory and thanks be to God. It's too much thankfulness.
********************************************************************************************************
and plenty of happiness and hugs :)
Braggart, insensitive, annoying perhaps?
Really?
Nice boss, cool job, good prospects, doting parents, loving boyfriend, true friends, somewhat pleasant life.
Really?
Yes, not too bad, i suppose so, not overly, quite , yes, yeah.
Or is it just a matter of perspective?
All glory and thanks be to God. It's too much thankfulness.
********************************************************************************************************
The weekends were spent with friends, family (bf's), and bf. It was tiring but felt so good just to be seeing my friends again - from church and from school.
A good old improvised picnic, family dinner,
a lengthy lunch and catching up over a decadent tea session at PS Cafe,
dropped by bf's place and
helping to set up the fish tank with him
with eyes squinting over tying tiny ferns (1cm or smaller!) to the trunks and
separating minute plants to make a picturesque home for the fishes
and plenty of happiness and hugs :)
xoxo,
principessa
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Business Class
Decided to drop in and write about this:
Going to take business class for the first time! Thai Airways Royal Silk class :)
Sometimes I am worried the prospects of these upgraded experiences affecting my expectations and demand for comfort and quality life. It's like those movies when people splurge with their expense accounts on business trip - taking the upgraded class, staying in 5 star hotels, cabbing/limousine with driver, dining at fine restaurants.. without paying a single cent from their paycheck.
The problem with this is that it makes you want these luxuries even in your normal life. And you start drawing from your paycheck, you want to cab instead of take the bus/train, dine at nice places instead of food courts, refuse to stay in a 3 star accommodation anymore.
It can be scary. It is a boon and a bane. But this time, it's a learning experience.
xoxo
Going to take business class for the first time! Thai Airways Royal Silk class :)
Sometimes I am worried the prospects of these upgraded experiences affecting my expectations and demand for comfort and quality life. It's like those movies when people splurge with their expense accounts on business trip - taking the upgraded class, staying in 5 star hotels, cabbing/limousine with driver, dining at fine restaurants.. without paying a single cent from their paycheck.
The problem with this is that it makes you want these luxuries even in your normal life. And you start drawing from your paycheck, you want to cab instead of take the bus/train, dine at nice places instead of food courts, refuse to stay in a 3 star accommodation anymore.
It can be scary. It is a boon and a bane. But this time, it's a learning experience.
xoxo
Saturday, 26 June 2010
First work trip
Tomorrow marks my first work trip - first destination: BKK. There will be few like that as my job involves more back-office planning work and liaising with clients over email, phone calls and occasionally meeting them f2f. I'm excited though, to meet our Thai Rep for the first time and be able to attend client meetings outside Singapore.
It's not exactly the first time, I've met a client previously in BKK for lunch during the BKK training last year but this time I'll have to deal with back to back meetings over 2 full days as well as deal with client requests in my mailbox whenever there is time to check..
As usual I am not sure if this industry is for me. Sometimes yes sometimes no but mostly, no. I have to pursue my real interests and passions. Dance, Environment..impacting lives.
Dance is out of question because it will always remain recreational. While working for a green business and something that has a higher meaning is viable. I'm still muddling my way through and as much as I want to be increasing my knowledge of this field, the noises of life have snuffed this off. Most of the time.
And then I wonder sometimes, where have my life gone to? I haven't been actively pursuing my dreams and mini goals that leads to the big picture. The fodder that drives me to live to my potential. Will it ever come true like this? No. No way.
Bring fit and healthy - snuffed because of laziness and lacking strong motivation and people to keep it with
Learning driving - snuffed because the ulu Ubi school seems so far yet is so near
Dancing frequently - snuffed and too too tired to elaborate
Learning piano - snuffed because of $ and time
Living overseas for 2 years - ...
Saw 3 Burger King Ads in a row of their A4dables promotion on the road to a BK. Hungry for it now, blame the power of advertising. But it is honestly so sinful!!!
xoxo
Friday, 18 June 2010
No mes ames
Have you ever felt sad from deep within your heart when these waves of emotions run over you and silent raindrops fall from nowhere? It is as if a part of you have died or am relegated to the back ends of your memories because as strong as they have been, they have to remain somewhat buried?
Somewhat buried because the big picture tells you that remaining hidden, remaining suppressed may be better. But those little times when an accidental agent goes over and uncovers that part once again - a little at a time. And it all blows up for a moment. How long this moment last I do not know.
But I know it is now. Some part of you awakens - a passion. Strongly yearning for that life to rush over you again. When the world feels like your playground and everything, everything is just beautiful.
And you fall. deeply in love again. and some part of you asks, is all this burying... worth it? It has to be and the reason is. But why can't we have both? Why can't it be part of the big picture? Why...why..why can't we have the world?
Contentment? A greater glory, a greater blessing? I don't know. But when life slips within me again I can't help but ponder over this all over again and somehow wish multiple love and be combined. Why, God?
I don't know. But meanwhile I know I will trust in Him. Does trusting come in a silent melancholic tune? Or is that because we do not trust enough?
Somewhat buried because the big picture tells you that remaining hidden, remaining suppressed may be better. But those little times when an accidental agent goes over and uncovers that part once again - a little at a time. And it all blows up for a moment. How long this moment last I do not know.
But I know it is now. Some part of you awakens - a passion. Strongly yearning for that life to rush over you again. When the world feels like your playground and everything, everything is just beautiful.
And you fall. deeply in love again. and some part of you asks, is all this burying... worth it? It has to be and the reason is. But why can't we have both? Why can't it be part of the big picture? Why...why..why can't we have the world?
Contentment? A greater glory, a greater blessing? I don't know. But when life slips within me again I can't help but ponder over this all over again and somehow wish multiple love and be combined. Why, God?
I don't know. But meanwhile I know I will trust in Him. Does trusting come in a silent melancholic tune? Or is that because we do not trust enough?
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
First post from my MAC
Mac Mac, happy me. I finally got my apple macbook pro and the accompanying free ipod touch. This is my first post and I have 2 minutes to jot something quick down before a conference call for work ...at guess what, 9pm. That's because the call is with US/Europe/Mexico etc.
Oh well, a quick review. I am happy with my apple stuff but i'm still in the process of getting used to it. Especially MSN that i use so very often for catching up with friends every night, it's not the same on a mac, not as pretty or advanced in comparison. Hmm, not to mention that this keyboard feels a bit funny because it doesn't feel deep enough?
But anyway, elsewhat, i love the design on this. :)
cheers,
principessa
Oh well, a quick review. I am happy with my apple stuff but i'm still in the process of getting used to it. Especially MSN that i use so very often for catching up with friends every night, it's not the same on a mac, not as pretty or advanced in comparison. Hmm, not to mention that this keyboard feels a bit funny because it doesn't feel deep enough?
But anyway, elsewhat, i love the design on this. :)
cheers,
principessa
Thursday, 27 May 2010
SATC : Always witty
Hope to watch the SATC movie soon, and guess what, i haven't even watched the first! Meanwhile, here's a funny clip of a melodramatic fight between Carrie & her bf Aidan who's moving into her apartment.
Of shoes & wardrobe & living space - men just don't understand
These aren't that important to me but i'm sure there's an element of that in every woman.
xoxo,
principessa
Of shoes & wardrobe & living space - men just don't understand
These aren't that important to me but i'm sure there's an element of that in every woman.
xoxo,
principessa
One less wisdom and thoughts about networking
Glad to be able to have some time to write again, there's so much to update!
Just last week, I have been one tooth down after removing a wisdom tooth via normal extraction. It was a fairly simple and painless yet scary process. My gentle dentist was commendable, very patient and reassuring throughout. An x-ray was taken of my molars and a quick assessment was done - i can extract the offending tooth that was poking my cheeks normally. He then applied some sweet numbing cream and then put something into my mouth, it was the LA injection but he was so slow and calm that I felt no pain, almost nothing.
The only thought on my mind was soaring on eagle's wings with the strength of the Lord.
In less than a minute, the tool was in my mouth and he gently (or not i have no idea because it was numbed) twisted it a little bit. I could hear some tearing sound and although I can't feel anything, my imagination freaked me out but 3-4 twists later it was off. A blood clotting collagen thing was placed in the hole and I had to bite on a gauze for 20 minutes. After which the bleeding was very minimal.....and I could eat again! :) No pain, just the scary but painless tearing sound.
About this world marketing conference networking event I went for a big local airline client (you can guess easily) at Clifford Pier today, it wasn't too bad in the end. I dreaded going and rubbing shoulders with people i don't know and are probably not interested in you but after being there, it was actually a good experience in meeting people from the industry. I guess they're not as versed or comfortable there..
And tip number two. Drink some wine. After which, laughter and conversation will ensue. :)
Here's some souvenir pictures taken at the event with the EVP Marketing and some senior management and industry peers..
And survive indeed. It makes us stronger. So never stop believing in the possibilities, give it a go if you have some heart for it. (Anna, go go go! I'm behind you :) )
I think if we ever stop growing or lost the desire to grow, life will generally feel like a ride downhill. There are still so many things i wish i am doing more of and one that i've always lament about is my lack of exercise. Sheesh, and learning to drive, and dance!. :(
I digress but yea, I am quite happy right where I am now. There are opportunities to travel, to meet people and be in a somewhat creative environment, independence to some level at what i am doing. Empowerment to make crucial decisions is so important to our morale. So yea, happiness.
PS: Wait till the down period and I'll be back to complaining.
xoxo,
principessa
Just last week, I have been one tooth down after removing a wisdom tooth via normal extraction. It was a fairly simple and painless yet scary process. My gentle dentist was commendable, very patient and reassuring throughout. An x-ray was taken of my molars and a quick assessment was done - i can extract the offending tooth that was poking my cheeks normally. He then applied some sweet numbing cream and then put something into my mouth, it was the LA injection but he was so slow and calm that I felt no pain, almost nothing.
The only thought on my mind was soaring on eagle's wings with the strength of the Lord.
In less than a minute, the tool was in my mouth and he gently (or not i have no idea because it was numbed) twisted it a little bit. I could hear some tearing sound and although I can't feel anything, my imagination freaked me out but 3-4 twists later it was off. A blood clotting collagen thing was placed in the hole and I had to bite on a gauze for 20 minutes. After which the bleeding was very minimal.....and I could eat again! :) No pain, just the scary but painless tearing sound.
***************************************************
About this world marketing conference networking event I went for a big local airline client (you can guess easily) at Clifford Pier today, it wasn't too bad in the end. I dreaded going and rubbing shoulders with people i don't know and are probably not interested in you but after being there, it was actually a good experience in meeting people from the industry. I guess they're not as versed or comfortable there..
And tip number two. Drink some wine. After which, laughter and conversation will ensue. :)
Here's some souvenir pictures taken at the event with the EVP Marketing and some senior management and industry peers..
*********************************************
Regarding my job, I know i've always been complaining but currently, I think it is going very well. Some new developmental opportunities means I am more challenged to grow and to develop.. while problems gives me a chance to learn rapidly and come up with solutions. From these experiences, it forces you to grow. Being thrown in hot fire too, means you can either choose to sink or to find whatever way it is to survive.And survive indeed. It makes us stronger. So never stop believing in the possibilities, give it a go if you have some heart for it. (Anna, go go go! I'm behind you :) )
I think if we ever stop growing or lost the desire to grow, life will generally feel like a ride downhill. There are still so many things i wish i am doing more of and one that i've always lament about is my lack of exercise. Sheesh, and learning to drive, and dance!. :(
I digress but yea, I am quite happy right where I am now. There are opportunities to travel, to meet people and be in a somewhat creative environment, independence to some level at what i am doing. Empowerment to make crucial decisions is so important to our morale. So yea, happiness.
PS: Wait till the down period and I'll be back to complaining.
xoxo,
principessa
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Sick today
I realise many a times when I actually write something, it is always linked to something/someone close, and it seems to suggest that i've been unhappy in my relationship when in actuality, it is not true. Just that as humans, we remember mistakes and mis-givings more so than the good and joyful things to be thankful for.
Even being sick is a good thing sometimes, like I get a day off from work :) More chance to sleep and to rest and perhaps pack for Australia tonight.
Gosh, the trip is 3 days away!!! I still cannot believe it but so true. I'll be gone to Melbourne & Sydney for 1.5 weeks.
Will my work email be flooded and mailbox limit exceeded?
Anyway, I digress. The whole point of writing today is to thank God for providing such a wonderful, godly boyfriend for me. We both thought about the incident, both prayed and when he came over, we started with an opening prayer..went through some bumps but at the end of it... thankful, joyful, and full of hugs! :)
PS: He did wait for me downstairs for 2 hours that night. When i was fast asleep because I didn't believe he'll come. The amazing thing is that even despite that, it was a good thing it happened because it allowed time for God to speak to his heart.
Love,
Eva
Even being sick is a good thing sometimes, like I get a day off from work :) More chance to sleep and to rest and perhaps pack for Australia tonight.
Gosh, the trip is 3 days away!!! I still cannot believe it but so true. I'll be gone to Melbourne & Sydney for 1.5 weeks.
Will my work email be flooded and mailbox limit exceeded?
Anyway, I digress. The whole point of writing today is to thank God for providing such a wonderful, godly boyfriend for me. We both thought about the incident, both prayed and when he came over, we started with an opening prayer..went through some bumps but at the end of it... thankful, joyful, and full of hugs! :)
PS: He did wait for me downstairs for 2 hours that night. When i was fast asleep because I didn't believe he'll come. The amazing thing is that even despite that, it was a good thing it happened because it allowed time for God to speak to his heart.
Love,
Eva
Saturday, 1 May 2010
unHappiness!!
Hmph. I feel so hopping mad today. It's horribly strangling-ly hot and heaty today. Maybe it was the three slices of peanut butter & floss toast I had for lunch.
But i'm totally unhappy as I speak (write). A says that maybe I feel neglected, and yeah maybe there's reason. His friends are always so important to him and though i can understand it, i think that's a bit too much. He's always meeting them somehow. and what if not wanting to live far away from his network of friends?? ...
How many times does he meet me a week? i don't think i am that important really. and neither will you be if it is this way, doublefold.
Whatever. And we don't have much common interests. He's the gym-goer. I am the spontaneous nature-seeker. Music, dance, culture, quiet walks that are not planned but totally spontaneous. Dancing by the beach, feeling the wind in your air as you run/drive past a long stretch of tall trees..... i hate being a hamster on the treadmill.
He's rational and I am irrational. Logic vs emotions. Inflexible vs temperamental changeling.
I am very unhappy as I write, and I need to write cos I am still hopping mad at why this happens to me. Why doesn't he understand? Why can't he be gentler, more understanding and try to accommodate me? Stupid damn logical always-right words.
so what, i am still reeling with unhappiness.
don't tell me i always take things for granted, to you there's no honeymoon, no concessions. why can't you behave normally like people who've just fallen in love and do silly sickeningly sweet things for their partners? always so guarded, rational *and *@@# i am using rational again, explains what a clueless blockhead you are* it's hard to find fault with you, yet that's the reason for why i am feeling this way.
blah. to give you some credit, you can be incredibly wonderful or incredulously -----------------. don't even have a word for it.
though i thank God for him, i am still very very much hopping mad at everything, at myself, at my life.
But i'm totally unhappy as I speak (write). A says that maybe I feel neglected, and yeah maybe there's reason. His friends are always so important to him and though i can understand it, i think that's a bit too much. He's always meeting them somehow. and what if not wanting to live far away from his network of friends?? ...
How many times does he meet me a week? i don't think i am that important really. and neither will you be if it is this way, doublefold.
Whatever. And we don't have much common interests. He's the gym-goer. I am the spontaneous nature-seeker. Music, dance, culture, quiet walks that are not planned but totally spontaneous. Dancing by the beach, feeling the wind in your air as you run/drive past a long stretch of tall trees..... i hate being a hamster on the treadmill.
He's rational and I am irrational. Logic vs emotions. Inflexible vs temperamental changeling.
I am very unhappy as I write, and I need to write cos I am still hopping mad at why this happens to me. Why doesn't he understand? Why can't he be gentler, more understanding and try to accommodate me? Stupid damn logical always-right words.
so what, i am still reeling with unhappiness.
don't tell me i always take things for granted, to you there's no honeymoon, no concessions. why can't you behave normally like people who've just fallen in love and do silly sickeningly sweet things for their partners? always so guarded, rational *and *@@# i am using rational again, explains what a clueless blockhead you are* it's hard to find fault with you, yet that's the reason for why i am feeling this way.
blah. to give you some credit, you can be incredibly wonderful or incredulously -----------------. don't even have a word for it.
though i thank God for him, i am still very very much hopping mad at everything, at myself, at my life.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DAMN IT.
mimmolette friday
Had to entertain a client last night so we went to mimmolette at Bukit Timah for late night drinks, reached home at 4am. It's a invite-only party at La Maison so it is necessary to RSVP earlier and register your names.
But I think it was only so-so.
The place and surroundings is nice, love the lights that resemble stars sprawled over the tall trees surrounding this little establishment. I think it was someone's mansion converted to this beautiful Hampton style meets luxury decadence restaurant/cafe/bar at different times of the day.
Here's a picture montage I made from what they provide from the website. I like this style of home decor very much, it has a very clean yet luxurious look that symbolizes modernity and yet feels somewhat aristocratic. I like it quite somewhat and will consider this style in future.
And.. Kenneth came to pick me up and send my colleague and me home :D He couldn't sleep until 4am too.. was quite happy to see him because honestly, these night spots feel empty when it's not with people who matters.
I'll choose brunch or a quiet meal over this anytime. At least you hear what people are saying.
;) xoxo, principessa
But I think it was only so-so.
The place and surroundings is nice, love the lights that resemble stars sprawled over the tall trees surrounding this little establishment. I think it was someone's mansion converted to this beautiful Hampton style meets luxury decadence restaurant/cafe/bar at different times of the day.
Here's a picture montage I made from what they provide from the website. I like this style of home decor very much, it has a very clean yet luxurious look that symbolizes modernity and yet feels somewhat aristocratic. I like it quite somewhat and will consider this style in future.
I'll choose brunch or a quiet meal over this anytime. At least you hear what people are saying.
;) xoxo, principessa
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