But i'm totally unhappy as I speak (write). A says that maybe I feel neglected, and yeah maybe there's reason. His friends are always so important to him and though i can understand it, i think that's a bit too much. He's always meeting them somehow. and what if not wanting to live far away from his network of friends?? ...
How many times does he meet me a week? i don't think i am that important really. and neither will you be if it is this way, doublefold.
Whatever. And we don't have much common interests. He's the gym-goer. I am the spontaneous nature-seeker. Music, dance, culture, quiet walks that are not planned but totally spontaneous. Dancing by the beach, feeling the wind in your air as you run/drive past a long stretch of tall trees..... i hate being a hamster on the treadmill.
He's rational and I am irrational. Logic vs emotions. Inflexible vs temperamental changeling.
I am very unhappy as I write, and I need to write cos I am still hopping mad at why this happens to me. Why doesn't he understand? Why can't he be gentler, more understanding and try to accommodate me? Stupid damn logical always-right words.
so what, i am still reeling with unhappiness.
don't tell me i always take things for granted, to you there's no honeymoon, no concessions. why can't you behave normally like people who've just fallen in love and do silly sickeningly sweet things for their partners? always so guarded, rational *and *@@# i am using rational again, explains what a clueless blockhead you are* it's hard to find fault with you, yet that's the reason for why i am feeling this way.
blah. to give you some credit, you can be incredibly wonderful or incredulously -----------------. don't even have a word for it.
though i thank God for him, i am still very very much hopping mad at everything, at myself, at my life.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DAMN IT.
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