No mes ames

Have you ever felt sad from deep within your heart when these waves of emotions run over you and silent raindrops fall from nowhere? It is as if a part of you have died or am relegated to the back ends of your memories because as strong as they have been, they have to remain somewhat buried? 

Somewhat buried because the big picture tells you that remaining hidden, remaining suppressed may be better. But those little times when an accidental agent goes over and uncovers that part once again - a little at a time. And it all blows up for a moment. How long this moment last I do not know.

But I know it is now. Some part of you awakens - a passion. Strongly yearning for that life to rush over you again. When the world feels like your playground and everything, everything is just beautiful. 

And you fall. deeply in love again. and some part of you asks, is all this burying... worth it? It has to be and the reason is. But why can't we have both? Why can't it be part of the big picture? Why...why..why can't we have the world?

Contentment? A greater glory, a greater blessing? I don't know. But when life slips within me again I can't help but ponder over this all over again and somehow wish multiple love and be combined. Why, God?

I don't know. But meanwhile I know I will trust in Him. Does trusting come in a silent melancholic tune? Or is that because we do not trust enough?