Life is full of turns. Of hopes and faith, and of discouragement and unclear signals. What seemed promising might not be so, maybe what you are doing isn't enough, or what you are communicating about what you are doing does not do justice to what is done.
Expect a huge growth spurt. Sacrificing time and prioritizing, what and how really? What exactly? When will you ever be ready?
Maybe never fully, not when the path isn't right. If you are walking the wrong way, you would never reached the destination. Back track, grin and carry on... This time to the right track.
What is the right path?
Xoxo
Thursday, 17 January 2013
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Just a little... Disappointed
Dear diary,
I am a little disappointed today at a friendship. I've been eagerly helping my friend with advice on the wedding and prep, on housing, advice on makeup and beauty and on moving house and buying beds etc, but I do not feel that I had been appreciated, and not in the wedding speech, nor part of the bridal party.
Maybe the relationship is not as important that it is, and many other friends are available and had been there longer. I am just lamenting on this, feeling a bit lost at the moment at the state of my life now with friends. To think about it, there is not many people that I particularly hang out with. I wonder why... Is it because i do not ask them or that I feel awkward at building deeper relationships and they might, feel the same way too?
Maybe God... There's only you I could turn to at all moments. And at tiny physical moments in time, I either share the activity with a romantic partner or share it with no one at all.
Just thinking...
Xoxo
I am a little disappointed today at a friendship. I've been eagerly helping my friend with advice on the wedding and prep, on housing, advice on makeup and beauty and on moving house and buying beds etc, but I do not feel that I had been appreciated, and not in the wedding speech, nor part of the bridal party.
Maybe the relationship is not as important that it is, and many other friends are available and had been there longer. I am just lamenting on this, feeling a bit lost at the moment at the state of my life now with friends. To think about it, there is not many people that I particularly hang out with. I wonder why... Is it because i do not ask them or that I feel awkward at building deeper relationships and they might, feel the same way too?
Maybe God... There's only you I could turn to at all moments. And at tiny physical moments in time, I either share the activity with a romantic partner or share it with no one at all.
Just thinking...
Xoxo
Friday, 11 January 2013
Back again - Les Mis
Today marks the second time I'm watching Les Miserables in the cinema. This time it was with my colleagues.
Walking away from the theater, I felt inspired by the movie and yet, defeated and drained. Not sure why this is so but perhaps it's because the movie reminded me of the grace given to us with passion and with blood, to redeem us and give us new life! Broken chains of the past, new life and a bright future! A clean slate. And the man Jean Valjean used the grace and forgiveness to start an honest life anew. From hatred to love, from being looked down to looking after the trodden, from being condemned to a man who gives freedom to another that thirsts to take freedom away! Powerful themes in the show and stirring indeed.
But why oh my heart do I feel down trodden, and lost and loneliness creeps in? Is it because I did not speak out to voice my opinion?
A colleague talked about how some friends have babies out of wedlock as if its something normal, and another agreed that it's really common now it's the norm now. And how my heart and soul wants to interrupt! In a fallen world this is what things have come to? How did something wrong become the norm, held so by society? And then another phrase came that says: "Guys, use protection!" and it was agreed.
How I do not agree and yet I did not speak! Why? Why am I afraid and why am I timid? Speak or forever keep your peace. I've been reminded of a Christian passage that I read recently of passiveness being a sign of agreement.
I feel down that I had not spoken and I had not lived up to the glory of my savior by allowing worldly things to bother me. Case example: we were listening to some modern music in the car that I deem are unhealthy songs of hurt & sensational desires. Others seem to know these songs so readily at the back of their minds, but why did I feel a tinge of sadness at not knowing these songs? Why should I even feel that emotion because honestly, those are nothing to be admired about! It keeps you with the times and helps you when talking to the general people who enjoy popular culture... Yet here is nothing wrong for feeling left out if being left out of negative music is a positive thing in God's kingdom.
Hence I am now cheered after baring my thoughts. Writing has such a soothing effect when you get things out and sort things out in the process. I should be joyful in The Lord! I no longer belong to the world and its hurts but I belong to God.
Xoxo.
Walking away from the theater, I felt inspired by the movie and yet, defeated and drained. Not sure why this is so but perhaps it's because the movie reminded me of the grace given to us with passion and with blood, to redeem us and give us new life! Broken chains of the past, new life and a bright future! A clean slate. And the man Jean Valjean used the grace and forgiveness to start an honest life anew. From hatred to love, from being looked down to looking after the trodden, from being condemned to a man who gives freedom to another that thirsts to take freedom away! Powerful themes in the show and stirring indeed.
But why oh my heart do I feel down trodden, and lost and loneliness creeps in? Is it because I did not speak out to voice my opinion?
A colleague talked about how some friends have babies out of wedlock as if its something normal, and another agreed that it's really common now it's the norm now. And how my heart and soul wants to interrupt! In a fallen world this is what things have come to? How did something wrong become the norm, held so by society? And then another phrase came that says: "Guys, use protection!" and it was agreed.
How I do not agree and yet I did not speak! Why? Why am I afraid and why am I timid? Speak or forever keep your peace. I've been reminded of a Christian passage that I read recently of passiveness being a sign of agreement.
I feel down that I had not spoken and I had not lived up to the glory of my savior by allowing worldly things to bother me. Case example: we were listening to some modern music in the car that I deem are unhealthy songs of hurt & sensational desires. Others seem to know these songs so readily at the back of their minds, but why did I feel a tinge of sadness at not knowing these songs? Why should I even feel that emotion because honestly, those are nothing to be admired about! It keeps you with the times and helps you when talking to the general people who enjoy popular culture... Yet here is nothing wrong for feeling left out if being left out of negative music is a positive thing in God's kingdom.
Hence I am now cheered after baring my thoughts. Writing has such a soothing effect when you get things out and sort things out in the process. I should be joyful in The Lord! I no longer belong to the world and its hurts but I belong to God.
Xoxo.
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