The frailty of Man

I look at my Mum and my Dad and understood this. 

How frail we are as Man. Our physical body rusts, puts on weight through the years, slackened skin and wrinkled lines confirms what some fears most - the evidence of age. Metabolic rate declines, movement slows, less flexible.


Yet with more love. With more understanding. The eyes that says "I love you, daughter" even if lips nag, concerned. 


I told Mum that I want to get a piano and this needs space in the house. There is a lot of space in the house if we make it so. If decades old stuff are put away, out of the house. I said I wanted the study room which no one is using, can I have the space there? And gave my mum 2 months to clear her stuff. Hers because it is unwanted by others, hers because they are treasures in her eyes. Yes, my mum's a hoarder. And a sentimental.


I took her hand and led her to the study to see. In the darkness of the study room which artificial light no longer lit the place, Mum hugged me. Three times. 


2 months Mum, can you clear the space in 2 months? 

What will happen when you get married and move out?

I'll move the piano with it Mum. 


Maybe silently she's wondering about the future - What will life be without staying with you Mum? And Dad? I don't know, I'll be very sad. 


But do I want the future? Do I want to be married at some point and move out? Yes I do. I do want to move on to another part of life yet I don't want to let go..  Thinking of moving out and having a family is scary. Yet........


How did the world become so scary so fast? So real? Out of school - out of the crib. No more sheltering, no kind soul and people with not much motives. Fending for yourself, finding yourself, yes this is life now. I don't know, I don't want it, I don't want to grow up yet I must, I have to. We all have to but...


I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.


I love you Mum. You cook the healthiest and yummiest home fare that I will always miss. I know you love me. I know both of you do, and I am such a special child in your eyes, always...