Some thoughts

Not being able to go out, i definitely miss a lot of things. :( In the past, i can never imagine being at home two days in a row without stepping out of the house. It feels like jail to me, really. I think that may be because the only few things i do at home is to surf Internet, watch Discovery Travel and Living, read magazines and so on.

What else do you do at home? Besides the mundane everyday necessities.

When i was younger, being at home included play - with my sister. Or homework that could occupy so much of your time! Assessment books can be endless. But since I became an adult, play is relegated to the outside world.

Meeting up with friends, window shopping, enjoying good food, going to parties (not that i do that often), dance lessons, hanging out with my bf (not that i have one now), going to the movies, to the bookstore etc.

Hmm! It is true isn't it? Much of adult life is outside the home - social life and work! Although the Internet and personal computers have changed that, where we can engage in social activities even at home, shop, watch movies and even pay bills and bank online, it has made our domestic life at home centered all around our computers!!

What happened to other domestic activities people do? Like chat with family members, play board games, cook and bake, garden, home improvement projects, pet rearing.. Maybe it is just me. I have to find more substantial things to do at home that does not involve the TV or the computer. But now that i can't go out, i can't even buy groceries and the ingredients to cook.

Before my knee incident, i was really into cooking healthy meals. And looking forward to days of roaming about town in libraries and bookstores, and cafes and movie theaters and unexplored territories. And lots of popping over my gfs places and meeting up with everyone. I even bought a monthly MRT concession! Guess what, i only used that for 1 day before the unfateful incident happened. :(

God really have a way of humbling us, and thwarting whatever plans we have made for ourselves. He is in control, not us. I don't know, I haven't been very religious, I haven't been dependent enough on him. Even now. I feel distant from Him because I haven't been able to go to church. :( I know a relationship with God doesn't exist in church only, and I should be doing daily devotionals but I am not. Am I upset with Him? Or in my sometimes sadness, i just refuse to read the bible, i just refuse. On purpose.

Maybe it is because I didn't make plans with Him in mind. Sigh.

But through this incident, i am glad i learnt something. Who are the friends whom you can depend on, and truly cares. And who are the more fair-weathered friends. In my MFA interview yesterday, i met the 5 other candidates and some are truly nice. There is a girl who had a similar incident (except that its worst) last year and she was on crutches 6 weeks after her surgery! She was really sweet and tried to help me carry my bag and open the doors. And there is the HR personnel who is like a motherly figure, trying to minimise the distance i have to walk, taking water and lunch for me although at first she looked so strict and unapproachable!

Thank you my dearest JADE girlfriends :D I know Deb may not know about this yet because i didn't tell her, but Anna and Jolly are the sweetest friends, ever. Anna is teaching me some music theory lessons, together they baked healthy muffins that is so delicious i can eat them everyday, and Jolly's exciting news and calls make me so excited to whatever is happening with her!

Thank you other friends whom i chat with online or email to and they really help to make everything more enjoyable.

Thank you Jasper for the lovely flowers and little gifts (mini pancakes!) that made my day :)

And thank you H who always assures me of his support even though he's so busy with work overseas.

Actually, this whole knee thingy is affecting my job-hunt, dance lessons, and church. I haven't been actively applying for new jobs because of it, i don't want to go to interviews with crutches if i can help it. I can only hope that this recovers fast so that i can walk normally for my graduation ceremony on July 7. I can't exercise too to lose any post-travel weight...and i think crutches exercises my arms way too much. Strong arms are good for guys, not so much for girls!!! yuch.

Lastly, my family will be going to the church camp next week for 3 nights from Sunday. I wonder how i am going to settle lunch because my brother will only be home at night. Maybe i will call Pizza delivery, divide it and freeze some for the next day. I'll see how it goes.

cheerios