:(

I really feel like giving up. All this school stuff, i feel that it is too much for me. I'm just so tired of trying, so tired of being stressed because my abilities is only so little.

Comprehending all these high-ty migh-ty lofty articles and theories, and philosophical trends of geography is not easy for me. I really can't understand so much, i was never the studying kind.

:( I feel so lost in class, so inadequate. I don't even have much opinions about class discussions, i just feel dumb. You know?

If only there's someone who knows, and understands, who can help me to understand these concepts too. And even if i could understand something, it takes ages. I don't have so much time, i just feel strapped for time.

Maybe i look okay on the outside, sometimes i feel okay... but i really am not. The only reason why I'm taking on Honors is because i want to work for the Second Upper Class Honors. I don't think a Second Lower is worth that extra $8000 (including my allowance) for my parents. My family is not rich, and that money can mean a lot. It is my Dad's money, he paid everything for me.. including my laptop, my travel to USA and so on. Not everyone is so lucky. I know of friends who take on study loans and have to pay it back themselves when they graduate.

That is why i feel so sad and stressed. How to get an A- for every subject when... even getting a B or B+ is such a thankful affair with the state of my understanding? I have two choices. I can get a B average and still get a second lower degree. Or i can get an A- average and get a second upper degree. If i choose the former, i can officially not work so hard because my results are at the upper end of the spectrum. But i can't, i want my parent's efforts to be worth it.

And so, this road is going to be tough. Very very tough. :( :( :( I really feel like giving up, i just want to be happy to do the things i like.

princi

PS: I hate geog thought A and its assignment, i hate Urban and its assignment. The only classes i enjoy is Int'l Transport and Organizational Culture. And i hate my weight because i can't eat anything i want anymore. I can't even fit into my favourite clothes.