Sweet-tooth cravings (argh)

This is bad, my sweet-tooth cravings have increased since the exams, confirmed during my Aussie trip, and worsened since this period of house arrest! My mum just bought some durian dessert home, i tried one and it's a complete mistake! With durians, you can't have one. There's always want for more. :( I am a huge durian fan. Sigh.

Inaccessibility makes you crave it more. If it is there, you may not want it so much. But when it is out of your reach or difficult to get, you want it more. At the moment, I feel like eating Bubor Hitam after seeing it made on TV.. and chilled durians. *Better not think further or the list will grow exponentially* Some time ago, it was bubble tea and blueberry waffles but i got my mum and sis to buy it for me.

Pandan waffles and bubble tea top my list for Comfort food :)

Other happy food combination for me includes hot chocolate and muffins (calorie disaster i knowww)

Hot chocolate from Fresh @ Blue Mountains - YUM!!

Tea with Cake..

High tea with my geog gfs some time back (I love the high tea set for two @ Royal Copenhagen)


or Tea with piping hot scones with clotted cream and some good quality jam :D

Taken during my Cameron Highland trip

Sometimes, i want to learn how to make these delicious confectionaries. Yet i am afraid that if i do, i will overeat them. This applies to all types of food i make, or food made by special people. Still, it is good to learn right?

How nice to be a domestic goddess, and more (a lot more). :)

Do men aspire to be such too? I wonder how many guys, on top of being good in career and as a bf/husband/son/parent, want to be good in housework and the kitchen? Oh, plus will take the effort to look good and dress well?

If there are significantly more women than men in this category, women indeed have more to contend with!! It is true that more and more couples with a double household income structure share household chores too, and house-husbands are becoming more common (when the woman work and the man stays at home to look after the kids and the house). However, society still expects more from women, and also from men.

See, if men cannot provide for the family or become house-husbands, their 'masculinity' is questioned. When women become the sole bread-winners, their 'femininity' is threatened while their man's manhood diminishes. Apparently, this is all a social construct because culture and traditions shapes our ideas of 'feminity' and 'masculinity'. Is there right and wrong? No, because it is all a normative conception that is, through centuries of belief and practice, disguised and believed to be a positive one. But we can't escape cultural influences, it is inherent in us. We have been socially conditioned since we were born.

That aside, personally i believe that in the ideal world of mine, men should be the primary bread-winner. Women should work but not be burdened by clearing household debts (ha ha ha), but work to have extra income to spend, and work for personal fulfillment :) A happy job outside, internal growth and stimulation through their career, money to spend on leisure on beauty on shopping, time to hang out with her girlfriends and other friends..with lots of resources and support to maintain a beautiful home.

How do you do that with a full-time job though? Hmm, have a half-day job or be your own boss (with excellent self-motivated employees)! Flexibility is the key, and so is a car or a personal chauffer (hahahaha) So you can shuttle from a meeting with clients at 10am, have lunch with the girls at a fine restaurant at noon, go for a facial/shopping at 2, go back to the office at 4 , grocery shop/gym at 6, cook (with some domestic help) and have dinner at 8pm.... or go for a romantic dinner date and drinks etc.

As usual, i am day-dreaming. Frankly speaking, you can only achieve that if your husband earns alot of stable income AND is also free from work (mentally, physically, emotionally) in the evenings.

xoxo, principessa

PS: At the moment, i am really craving for cherries, strawberries, mulberries and blackberries.

PPS: Some pictures of my trip is available at my Flickr page.

Some thoughts

Not being able to go out, i definitely miss a lot of things. :( In the past, i can never imagine being at home two days in a row without stepping out of the house. It feels like jail to me, really. I think that may be because the only few things i do at home is to surf Internet, watch Discovery Travel and Living, read magazines and so on.

What else do you do at home? Besides the mundane everyday necessities.

When i was younger, being at home included play - with my sister. Or homework that could occupy so much of your time! Assessment books can be endless. But since I became an adult, play is relegated to the outside world.

Meeting up with friends, window shopping, enjoying good food, going to parties (not that i do that often), dance lessons, hanging out with my bf (not that i have one now), going to the movies, to the bookstore etc.

Hmm! It is true isn't it? Much of adult life is outside the home - social life and work! Although the Internet and personal computers have changed that, where we can engage in social activities even at home, shop, watch movies and even pay bills and bank online, it has made our domestic life at home centered all around our computers!!

What happened to other domestic activities people do? Like chat with family members, play board games, cook and bake, garden, home improvement projects, pet rearing.. Maybe it is just me. I have to find more substantial things to do at home that does not involve the TV or the computer. But now that i can't go out, i can't even buy groceries and the ingredients to cook.

Before my knee incident, i was really into cooking healthy meals. And looking forward to days of roaming about town in libraries and bookstores, and cafes and movie theaters and unexplored territories. And lots of popping over my gfs places and meeting up with everyone. I even bought a monthly MRT concession! Guess what, i only used that for 1 day before the unfateful incident happened. :(

God really have a way of humbling us, and thwarting whatever plans we have made for ourselves. He is in control, not us. I don't know, I haven't been very religious, I haven't been dependent enough on him. Even now. I feel distant from Him because I haven't been able to go to church. :( I know a relationship with God doesn't exist in church only, and I should be doing daily devotionals but I am not. Am I upset with Him? Or in my sometimes sadness, i just refuse to read the bible, i just refuse. On purpose.

Maybe it is because I didn't make plans with Him in mind. Sigh.

But through this incident, i am glad i learnt something. Who are the friends whom you can depend on, and truly cares. And who are the more fair-weathered friends. In my MFA interview yesterday, i met the 5 other candidates and some are truly nice. There is a girl who had a similar incident (except that its worst) last year and she was on crutches 6 weeks after her surgery! She was really sweet and tried to help me carry my bag and open the doors. And there is the HR personnel who is like a motherly figure, trying to minimise the distance i have to walk, taking water and lunch for me although at first she looked so strict and unapproachable!

Thank you my dearest JADE girlfriends :D I know Deb may not know about this yet because i didn't tell her, but Anna and Jolly are the sweetest friends, ever. Anna is teaching me some music theory lessons, together they baked healthy muffins that is so delicious i can eat them everyday, and Jolly's exciting news and calls make me so excited to whatever is happening with her!

Thank you other friends whom i chat with online or email to and they really help to make everything more enjoyable.

Thank you Jasper for the lovely flowers and little gifts (mini pancakes!) that made my day :)

And thank you H who always assures me of his support even though he's so busy with work overseas.

Actually, this whole knee thingy is affecting my job-hunt, dance lessons, and church. I haven't been actively applying for new jobs because of it, i don't want to go to interviews with crutches if i can help it. I can only hope that this recovers fast so that i can walk normally for my graduation ceremony on July 7. I can't exercise too to lose any post-travel weight...and i think crutches exercises my arms way too much. Strong arms are good for guys, not so much for girls!!! yuch.

Lastly, my family will be going to the church camp next week for 3 nights from Sunday. I wonder how i am going to settle lunch because my brother will only be home at night. Maybe i will call Pizza delivery, divide it and freeze some for the next day. I'll see how it goes.

cheerios

I'll say..

Be thankful for good health, be thankful for being able to move, to live, to run and to jump!
Be thankful that you can be under the sun, under the moon and under the stars
Every day that you choose to be.

Stop and breathe when you have the chance, in the aroma of the wind
Pause and look around you with a quiet retrospective gaze

People are moving, people are rushing, they are talking
To phones, to each other, about the weather, about that Sale, about their boss, about their boyfriends
And every thing else that can be

This is the time when i like to stop. And glance around me. Quickly.

Wow, she looks happy about something
No, one of those couple skirmishes - she is angry at something, she is pushing him away!
He is eating way too much - look! A whole Macdonalds meal and a chocolate sundae? No wonder he is so round! Oh my gosh, i wonder about his heart, how can anyone eat so much junk?!
Hey, what's the rush? He look like he is late for an appointment - aren't they always.

And think. And smile to myself quietly inside - What an interesting world!
Now, where shall I go next?

:(

I hate being unable to walk, i hate being unable to dance, i hate being unable to go out, all because i have sprained my knee (or fractured it).

It's all because of a minor laziness. Dance shoes cannot get wet, so going to the toilet is a problem because the floors are often wet. So some weeks ago, i saw someone wearing a rubber slipper (those cheap rubber shoes worst than crocs worn by old people or uncles) over her dance shoe when she is in the toilet, and asked her why. She said it's to protect her shoes from getting wet. I thought that was an ingenious idea, so i tried it. But ended up spraining my knee because there is no proper weight distribution. Heels and rubber are not a good combination!

That was the first time i sprained it. In the past, i strained the knee ligament before, years and years ago.

I thought it is okay again after coming back from Australia, but no, i sprained it again. Different place, different reasons but it's probably because it was weakened already. :( It hurts like crazy, and i couldn't walk.. so my parents sent me to A&E for some xray. Have to use the wheelchair when i was in the hospital. That was the first time i was in a wheel chair.

The doctor took an xray and it showed a little piece of bone in the knee, she said it may be a fracture or when i sprained it, a small bit of bone fell out. No wonder it hurts when i straighten my knee.. Unable to determine if it is a fracture or something else, she put me in casts thigh down to ankle, and i have to use crutches to walk.

So that is the incident, and i hate crutches, i hate casts, i hate not being able to go out, i hate to be trapped and be dependent on other people all the time. Seeing the orthopedic tomorrow, he or she better tell me exactly what is going on... and i hope i can be normal soon. I hate missing dance lessons :(

It'll be a miracle if i can even go out on Saturday without crutches, and it'll be an even bigger miracle if i can dance. The chances are like 0.0001%, to be able to dance on Saturday. But i have an important interview on Monday, and i hope i can walk normally to attend it.

Temporary Immobility :(

Here are three pictures of three bears (or maybe two?) who are injured like me :(

Let's take a look at them.

Bear One: Sally
Why Sally? I have no idea, but her kind-of-pitiful expression just reminds me of a Sally.
Not that I know any Sally except Sally Hansen.. which is a brand.

Bear Two: Jimmy
- Is it a she or a he? No clothes, probably a he-

Bear Three: Cheddar
Looks similar to Jimmy but more decorated, i like him most! He reminds me of Chocolate. But the leg wrapped with colorful flowers (??) is totally crap, who walks around like that?!

xoxo, principessa

Back in Singapore - Mad about Food, suddenly.

First things first, I'm back!

*Weeeeeee!!! -anna style- *

This is the train i took on my way home from Blue Mountain to the Airport

YES!!!
And I had a blast of a time with my dearest, most loyal, most beautiful girlfriends JADE


AND...

As usual, as always, whenever I travel, i eat like a horse. You wouldn't believe it, but its called expandable tummy storage space for food you know you may never get a chance to try again because of the distance. And when the company is quite right, live at the moment i do! :D

Did i mention, 'regret later'? YES, because arrrgh, now i've gained like 1-2kg from all the glorious food in Aussie - cheese and more cheese, delightful desserts and crazy seafood spread, hearty woodfired pizzas and the to-die-for authentic Italian homemade pasta and such - and the Krispy Kremes sitting in my fridge, tantalizing caramelized macademia nuts from Morish that I can potentially eat like popcorns are all mocking me now! Because they know i cannot resist them, i have a weakness for food. Food that talks to me and say 'eat me, i'm worth it!'

I remember that in the past, my ex-bf used to try to control my food intake because he fears the consequences afterwards. Good intentions in mind I know, but there was a point when i'm like - what! what do you mean I can't eat this? Are you complaining I am fat?!

So bf-less and single (not so officially), now i do my own self-governance. Hee, but i think i cannot live without yummy food. A small dose of dark chocolate, Hot Choco drink and warm blueberry muffin in hand, freshly made scones with clotted cream and homemade jam, Ciao Italia's pasta and baked rice or strawberry custard tard (if i ever get near them again, but alas they are in Perth! SAFE.), Marche's pannacotta.... to nondescript everyday food like the chewy economy-Vegetarian brown rice sold in my market place, lemon chicken rice once in a while, the Turkish chicken kebab sandwich sold in Biz..and the smell of freshly popped popcorns.

OKAY, i need to stop here it is getting out of hand.

But throughout the trip, I cannot stop thinking about him.
How nice it will be if he was there, instead of working hard away in another city...

I will upload more pictures thematically in a bit when i have more time.

Before i end, here is to Perth(City)'s beauty!

xoxo, (CIAO) principessa

Aussie Trip - Note to myself

Hey all!

I'm writing from Deb's place using her computer. It has been one of the best 4 days of my travels so far, here in Perth with the JADE girls. It's amazing, the crazy things we do (like being in bikinis at secluded beaches in late Autumn! COLD but the sun makes it bearable).. the catching up with each other, talking about relationships and boys and our future and past. :)

I have no time to write all this but the following is a mental note to myself of what i've done so far.

13th May -
Arrived at Perth and welcomed by Deb

14th May -
Exploring Perth City (yawns), the iconic Swan Bells and a city that you can cover on foot in 2 hours, Vietnamese lunch, suburb shopping, baked Lamb dinner and feast (apple crumble) by the Lin family, picking up Anna

15th May -
Exploring Fremantle - Market shopping, coffee beans and the freshest Fish & Chips, Morries Nutty day, drive to the farm and had a stop by the most awesome wood-fire pizza tavern (one of the best kept secrets), and parked our car by a quiet road out of nowhere to see the stars in complete darkness

16th May -
Donnybrook and Deb's Farm! Crazy 'Yoube' ride around, Margaret River - Fudge and chocolate shops, Val Tasse Winery (?), Lunch @ Woody Nook (super pretty place, European food), bikini posing at a secluded beach, and dinner cooked by me (Teriyaki Chicken Pasta, Stir-fried Brocooli & Cauliflower) with Joy's hearty corn soup! Anna's mad suggestion of taking a picture of wild kangeroos up close in the dark.

17th May -
Crumpets breakfast and leftover corn soup, G Spot Ice cream place at Harvey's farm, leftover Teriyaki Chicken sandwich lunch @ Harvey's Dam, drive back to Perth, church service at Murdoch Uni, simple dinner of baked pumpkins, shrooms and tomatoes with cheese and greens :)

18th May -
Back to Perth, visit around the UWA campus, King's Park and Swan River, Leederville shopping, deb's special stew for dinner, and watching 'How I met your mother'

19th May -
Visited the Pinnacles, Caversham Wildlife Park and had pics with koalas, kangaroos, and wombats, picnic lunch and sand-boarding and a 4WD adventure. Dinner at Ciao Italia - the best italian food i've ever tried!

20th May -
Overnight flight to Sydney, terrible 14-16 mixed dorm hostel at Sydney Backpackers with over-friendly and weird men, Joy took us around half the city on foot - Harbor Bridge, Town Hall, QVB, the Rocks, Darling Harbor etc, met Danna for Pancakes on the rocks (to die for chocolate pancakes), lots of cam-whoring group style and Sakura eatery dinner. Changed to a 6 female dorm.

21st May -
Tour of sydney city part two with Joy, oldest library, St Mary's Cathedral, Opera House and tour, Chiefly Plaza and foodcourt food, met German roomie and she followed us around, dinner with jolly and HD at Masuya, explored the night life but was disappointed with the sad crowd

22nd May -
Tour-ourselves day, met W kor and he brought me to the Sydney Fish Market for a delectable treat of the freshest seafood fit for a queen, saw the largest Pelican, Paddy's Market and Chinatown, Market City and yogurt. While the girls went to Manly Beach. Reconvened for dinner and Darling Harbour's fireworks at kor's hotel suite, had a delicious european food spread with the girls and Y. 'Clubbing' but as usual, i couldn't get into it.

23rd May -
Oxford Street and Paddy's Market shopping, vintage and flea markets, American Apparel madness. Had the lousiest MEATPIE ever. Did not feel like shopping so i ventured on my own to the Opera House to catch the romantic night-scape, how can anyone miss that? Took trains on myself from Museum station - they filmed the Matrix there!!! Reconvened later and the girls watched Angels and Demons (not interested) while i was lazing in the dorm, had Bondi Burger together for late night dinner.

24th May -
Blue Mountains is freezing cold, the hostel at the Flying Fox is so comfortable so cosy and the people are great!!! Ate at FRESH and went to Echo Point, Three Sisters, Katoomba Falls. Met W kor and Y for a mini dinner party again at the hostel, watched 'While you were sleeping' and finally for the first time tried his cooking.

25th May -
Walking around Katoomba Falls with Deb- Furber Steps, Witches Leap and many fantastic views. Ate at FRESH again, and rushed to the train station. Bought lots of Krispy Kremes. Journey home. :)

Night, principessa