A solitary tune

Again, it has been some times since I dropped in. And as usual, it always happens when i'm deeply perturbed by some little thought.

The song playing on my ipod reflects the dainty solitude of raindrops on a day overcrowded with overcast skies. A man, A woman looking towards the sky, deeply pensive, deeply quiet, lingering thoughts of a love that breezed by.. wondering...how. why? I know this song is important to him in some way, i will never be able to understand - it is something so private he keeps it within him, impenetrable..

Yet, likewise with everyone else, some memories and some thoughts are best to be left unsaid, unmentioned, skimmed. An unspoken hurt, an unforgettable person, memories of you that felt so long ago, mostly detached. 


I missed class again today, and it wasn't like i was not prepared, i was. I brought my things out yet the tiniest thing can change our course. How am I going to use up 40 sessions in 6 months? 


For some reason, a sense of solitude crept in when i was on the bus watching the skies turn pink and slowly, dark. People buzzing by while the lights of the new malls crept around it in a dance, faintly magical. The fresh smell of rain and wet ground replaced by the lush, rich smell of the royal garden in the city so luxurious with its strong tall trees and lily filled pond. Idyllic yet somewhat... lonely. But sometimes, we need moments like that. A tune plays on at giraffe, lending an American vibe beckoning embattled adults like myself to come in and chill. 


How nice it will be with a drink in hand and some good music and your through-the-seasons friends? 


Laughing at the corporate rats shackled by invisible chains in their cubicle cell, spellbound by their PCs. Hands typing furiously to cover their ass, eyes darting across the lines, cross-eyed! Jumps or sigh at every phone call - boss says: is this ready? why did you write ---? explain the rationale for this --- with each ending with a sigh of relief when it's over --- okay thanks, byeee (and don't call again please). 


What i hate most about the job? Inactivity! Chained to the chair! Sneaky weight gains and hours that fly past as your mind is occupied by 'how to keep your job/save your ass/not feel stupid'. Months pass swiftly and you realise you haven't done much in your life and you'll reach 25, then 30, then 40... in no time.


What i love most about the job? I don't know. Sense of importance in society as a productive individual i suppose, something that occupies you, company brand, financial freedom and that's about all. 


Oh well. Anyway, for some reason i thought about him again. Por Una Cabeza - pining to dance again. Dance. My boyfriend doesn't enjoy the class so much because it is so hard to keep up (to him). I'm glad he took up the beginner latin class with me despite not having much interest towards it. But now i'm thinking.. i think i need a pseudo robotic dance partner if i ever want to dance with the flying feeling again. 


WHYYYYY?